Simon & Emily are in like. They’re also damned to hell.

It’s complicated, but trust me, I’ll walk you through the details.

Perhaps I will introduce myself:

Hi there, I’m your narrator, and I talk an excessive amount of. However, this is a story that requires lots of words to find out, lots of tangents and FAR too many expletives.

Jane Austen, this is not.

In this tome you’ll find Faustian deals, sex, expletives, comedy, tragedy, expletives, comedy, horror, comedy and expletives.

And it’s really funny, did I mention it’s funny?

Also, the world ends and the heroes go to hell.*

*Spoiler alert